A day in the life of Daryl
Disclaimer: The characters in the following story are entirely fictional, they do no in anyway represent the Daryl Conneely from Rosscommon who tried to be a Games Programmer and failed miserably. (hahahahaha... haha!)
This blog entry is available in AUDIO! Narrated by myself. Click here to download or listen. If it fails to load, try: http://www.feckingeejit.com/sounds/a_day_as_daryl.mp3.
A day in the life of Daryl
So today, like, I was walking down to the shop and I was behind this stuuuuuuupid guy. He was walking SHOOOOOOO slow. I felt
so SHHHHHHtUUUupid walking like that. So I says to the guy:
Hey you!
Me?
Yeah.. you!
Can I help you?
Dont you know who I am?
No... I dont.
I'm class rep... I mean, I'm Daryl Conneely. I play for Finn Harps!!!
Oh... what position?
Left back.... at the bus station.
Hmm... lovely.
Yeah, so you better watch yourself, you can't put games on the computer without MY permission.
I wasn't trying to put games on any computer.
Yeah... well... If I ask the technician he'll let Deckoo in!
I'm.. going to go now.. bye.
The man walked off but not before I could shout across the street how I won first place in Mr. Gay of LyIT.
So then I took out my fone to ring Shane and try get him out to the cinema. After twenty minutes of pulling Paddy's pubes out
of my phone I finally got through to Shane.... 's voice mail. I left a message.
So then I walked to my local watering hole: Game Stop. They had SHHHOO many games there that I blew my load ALLL OVVERR MYY
PANTS! It was soo funny cos I was shouting "OH Aine, I have ginger pubes" as I blew it. Then the lads pushed me out of the
door and they took a picture and it made it into the Year book.
It had just gone 4pm and I knew the Secondary School's would be finishing up so I took my usually position in the bushes.
There is over 1000 girls in the Loreto!!! ALL UNDER AGE. Thats alot of girls to turn me down. If I didnt know any better, I'd
swear I'm annoying.
After all those blow backs I was late for my meeting with the whole of the LyIT staff. As I entered the board room they gave
me a standing ovation while Paul Hannigan proceeded to shine my shoes with my own knob. I took my place at my chair and gave out LIKE
FUUUUUCCCK to them about how I can't do Java and that Billy Farelly uses faaaaar toooo muuuccch lube that I can barely feel
him penetrating my arsehole.
After a long grueling debate about how the course would be better if it were taught by MY Aine I was dragged out by alllll
the lads. So, we hit the pubs and after 4 pints of coke I was still as annoying as I was before. If not more. So then we went
to the Pulse where I got everrryoonnnee in for free because the Pulse is from Roscommon and I had it flown in from there, to
make me feel at home. I finally found a drunk enough girl to go outside with. Nine hours later I had my jumper off. She was
wearing it. 9 1/2 hours later it was around my waist and the girl was being banged by a ginger bloke. I shouted FUCCCK as
loud as I could, but she still wasn't impressed. It was a greeeaaaat day!
Anyway, as I was saying I scored a goal at the weekend.
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This blog entry is available in AUDIO! Narrated by myself. Click here to download or listen. If it fails to load, try: http://www.feckingeejit.com/sounds/a_day_as_daryl.mp3.
A day in the life of Daryl
So today, like, I was walking down to the shop and I was behind this stuuuuuuupid guy. He was walking SHOOOOOOO slow. I felt
so SHHHHHHtUUUupid walking like that. So I says to the guy:
Hey you!
Me?
Yeah.. you!
Can I help you?
Dont you know who I am?
No... I dont.
I'm class rep... I mean, I'm Daryl Conneely. I play for Finn Harps!!!
Oh... what position?
Left back.... at the bus station.
Hmm... lovely.
Yeah, so you better watch yourself, you can't put games on the computer without MY permission.
I wasn't trying to put games on any computer.
Yeah... well... If I ask the technician he'll let Deckoo in!
I'm.. going to go now.. bye.
The man walked off but not before I could shout across the street how I won first place in Mr. Gay of LyIT.
So then I took out my fone to ring Shane and try get him out to the cinema. After twenty minutes of pulling Paddy's pubes out
of my phone I finally got through to Shane.... 's voice mail. I left a message.
So then I walked to my local watering hole: Game Stop. They had SHHHOO many games there that I blew my load ALLL OVVERR MYY
PANTS! It was soo funny cos I was shouting "OH Aine, I have ginger pubes" as I blew it. Then the lads pushed me out of the
door and they took a picture and it made it into the Year book.
It had just gone 4pm and I knew the Secondary School's would be finishing up so I took my usually position in the bushes.
There is over 1000 girls in the Loreto!!! ALL UNDER AGE. Thats alot of girls to turn me down. If I didnt know any better, I'd
swear I'm annoying.
After all those blow backs I was late for my meeting with the whole of the LyIT staff. As I entered the board room they gave
me a standing ovation while Paul Hannigan proceeded to shine my shoes with my own knob. I took my place at my chair and gave out LIKE
FUUUUUCCCK to them about how I can't do Java and that Billy Farelly uses faaaaar toooo muuuccch lube that I can barely feel
him penetrating my arsehole.
After a long grueling debate about how the course would be better if it were taught by MY Aine I was dragged out by alllll
the lads. So, we hit the pubs and after 4 pints of coke I was still as annoying as I was before. If not more. So then we went
to the Pulse where I got everrryoonnnee in for free because the Pulse is from Roscommon and I had it flown in from there, to
make me feel at home. I finally found a drunk enough girl to go outside with. Nine hours later I had my jumper off. She was
wearing it. 9 1/2 hours later it was around my waist and the girl was being banged by a ginger bloke. I shouted FUCCCK as
loud as I could, but she still wasn't impressed. It was a greeeaaaat day!
Anyway, as I was saying I scored a goal at the weekend.
Comments
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